Hello lovely ladies & gentsss. i know it's been a while, but honestly- i have been a little pre-occupied with life. :( so if you know me personally, you'll know that i've gone through some pretty big changes throughout the last two weeks:
me & my boyfriend broke up. :( long story short- i'm heartbroken, and he doesn't even care. thinking that it's time to call everything a day now. short of all the begging, (yes, begging), i've done to get him back, the pleading, the changing, the crying, the anger, the hurt, i'm thinking now is a good time to give up & move on. trust me, if you've never experienced this (which luckily all three of my bestfriends have), then i know how easy it sounds. I was so uncaring when my friends went through it-- i didn't realise how hard it was, nor did i realise how much one person could change every little aspect of another person's life. I lacked in support and care for especially one of my friends, and i now regret it cos she's been there for me like a rock, so thankyou. anyway, anyone who has been through the process of being in a long-term relationship, and being 'dumped'- your bestfriend, boyfriend, your world, going from being your everything to nothing, then i guess you'll know how i'm feeling. i'm down, i'm unhappy and i generally feel like i can't do anything right.. sucks to be me, right??

from all this, my only points of advise are;

-don't beg, plead, try the guilt trip, or the sympathy vote for that matter, cos they don't work. they make matters worse, in fact. i made him go from my bestfriend, to friend, to enemy, and back to friend. it's a kind of pinball game in the last week, pinging between the 'enemy' prong and the 'friend' prong.

-get rid of their things.. nicely! okay, so i made the mistake of being a complete bitch about it. in my defence, i gave him almost two weeks to collect his things, he got people involved (recieving hurtful & pretty much evil messages from his twin definitely topped it off), he rejected my calls and when he did answer he was completely rude 'telling me to f#ck off, & hanging up numerous times), so i cut up his t-shirt and made a beautiful cardigan out of it.-- then i felt awful, so i'm now in the process of returning his things via our college swapping system... just get rid of their things. seeing their stuff only makes you feel worse about the whole thing and definitely doesn't help you to move on.

-find another gorgeous, sometimes totally unrealistic, crush to focus on! i mean, every girl would love to date someone like Zac Efron, right? for me, Olly Murrs has got me through this-- i mean, c'mon- did you see the naked shoot he did for Heat magazine!? yum!

-find other things to take your mind off them too.. go out with the ladies! cinema, meals, sleepovers, duvet days- your girlfriends will always find a way to cheer you up, and failing that, they'll let you cry on their shoulders! Get a job, or take on more hours at your current one! occupying your mind is gonna stop you from thinking about the ex, and it's a great way to get you back out there and meet other people! take up a new hobby. painting, dancing, martial-arts, yoga, sports, even shopping! window shopping has been proved to boost happiness by releasing mood-lifting endorphins, boosting your immune system, keeping your brain nimble, and even fulfilling basic social needs! if there ever was a reason to go shopping, it's that!

-and finally, keep that head held high. trust me, i know how hard this one is. don't let them see that you're hurting. put on that slick of lippy, chuck on that extra coat of mascara, get a push up bra! anything to make you look flawlessly hot, catch his attention, smile, and show him what he's missing! a bit bitter? i know, but how else would you make him feel sorry for losing you?! :)

so yeah. don't let him pull you down-- you're most probably better off without him. I mean, if someone who loves you so much can just leave you standing alone, with nothing left but the mere memories of a perfect relationship, then would you really want him back when he could do it again at any other given time?

anyway, i just thought that i'd mention that i'm going to Centerparcs on Friday-- yippeeeee! <3

that's all for now. i promise to write back soon & tell you how CP was!

p.s i've lost like, half a stone since i split with my ex. that's gotta be a positive, right?!

listen to:
Mike Posner- Cooler Than Me
The Saturdays- Higher
Cheryl Cole- Promise This
Cee Lo Green- F#ck you
The Script- Nothing     --this is sooo the male view of what i'm going through!