your hostess: 'Jessica Emily Starbuck.xxx

Welcome to my humble blog.

i love leopard print, lace and anything that resembles Cath Kidston.

i hate the ends of sausages. i hate opening gates. i hate it when you wake up and there's nothing for breakfast.

Happy reading!

lots of love.. Jessie.' xoxo

ooohlala;

December 15, 2010


I have my christmas decorations up! I feel like such a kid-- the slightest mention of the C work (no, not the rude one! Christmas, silly.) & I go completely crazy inside! and, and, and there's a present for me underneath the tree! The temptation to take a peek is almost overwhelming, but then i'd be on Santa's naughty list, & the present would be replaced with coal.. not really in the Christmas spirit really, is it? 

Oh, also- i happened to check my bank, (which has had the balance of 22p for the last 4 months) last week. woah, £250 has gone in! just for training. you can't complain really, can you?! So it's been spend,spend,spend this week- christmas jumpers, snazzy underwear, party-wear. it's all necessary.. in my opinion anyway! 
 
i've been feeling a little down this week, which isn't like myself near Christmas- i mean, tis the season to be jolly, right? The cold, dark nights, the lonely walks to the bus stop in the mornings, the cute snowy scenery. I just think that i need someone. someone to hold my hand, to keep me warm, to cuddle me, and watch crappy TV with me. to eat rubbish and curl up watching films. to play in the snow, and to kiss in the rain. As Jacob says to Bella; 'Im gonna fight for you 'til the day your heart stops beating'. I want someone to fight for me, to love me, and to respect me. :(
 
anyway- sorry for putting a downer on things! I'll let you get back to your things now!
p.s- i have a mock driving test next week! I think he thinks that im capable to pass, so hopefully, this time next week, I will have booked my test! yippeeee! 

Love you. 



i'd like to thank you all for reading this too btw.- it means a lot that people read what i write, & hopefully this blog can assist me into getting onto a journalism university course!

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

it's begining to look a lot like Christmas.<3

December 1, 2010

Hola! :D
i can honestly say that i'm feeling the happiest i've felt in soooo long!<3 eeek!



so, as you've probably grasped.. IT'S BEEN SNOWING! yaaay. --i'm telling you, the snow comes out, & i'm 5 years old again. I love it! <3<3
yes, this weekend, (saturday morning, at 3AM to be precise), my dad decides to come into my room & inform me that it's been snowing.. yes, thanks dad- but couldn't it wait til at least 9am? apparently not. Not only did he have to tell me, oh no- that's too easy, no, i had to physically get out of my beautifully warm bed and go to the window so that i can 'see with my own eyes'... (like they wouldn't be able to see it in the morning or something?) silly man.
i'm telling you now, a week of snow and the bloody country shuts down. currently, there are no running buses, all colleges and school are closed, and a lot of work places. Noone dares to drive cos they just get stuck, or have accidents. you can't even walk anywhere in fear of slipping & being laughed at. Yes, i found this one out lastnight.. After waiting in the freezing cold after work lastnight for 45 minutes, i decided to ring my dad to see where the hell he was. ok, he was actually stuck, not 10 minutes from home :| & then kindly informed me that i'd have to walk.. without my scarf.. and gloves.. and wearing my boots that leak. great. It then took him a further TWO HOURS to get home! crazy, huh? anyway, i decided on getting the bus. so here i was, waiting with this nice old man.. BAYUMMM, some crazy-ass f#cker tells us that the buses are refusing to run. oh great. so i start walking towards my dad, up a massive hill... yes, you know what's coming. i fell. twice. in front of at least 15 cars. fml. i could've cried when the car right next to me started beeping & shouting at me. thanks, you twatty little chavs! :(
aaah! (': sucks to be me.

enough snow talk, i just wanted to update! :)
work's going good! life's going good! yay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

whole lotta nothinn'

November 28, 2010


so i'm sat here, perched on the end of my bed, undecided on whether i'm gonna throw up or not.. yes, lastnight was a goddamn successful night! It was the lovely Megan's 18th, and to celebrate, we went out for a meal in a pretty fancy restaurant, cinema, and then had a majoooor piss up! so we went to Megan's yesterday, around lunchtime, and after a couple of glasses of champagne and a lot of laughing, we set off to town. OH, and there was snow! so obviously, we got bombarded with snowballs by some shitty little chavs, making us bloody fear for our lives! okay, so a bit OTT, but seriously, they're scary! After walking around Market Square in the 'Winter Wonderland', we popped off to "Peachy Keens"- a new buffet restaurant that offers almost every type of food possible. At one point, there was chicken tikka masala, pasta, coleslaw, spring rolls and nachos on my plate- how gross?! plus, we got served! Hello malibu and coke.<3
after eating to my heart's content, we went to the cinema. :) i must say, i was more interested in the person sat next to me that i was the film.. i mean, a little harmless flirting never hurt anyone, right? it's been so long since i've done it, so it was really fun! we went to see Harry Potter, the 6th one, and the bits that i saw were very good! ;D hahaha. yum.
& then the party began. i'm not gonna bore you and talk about every little aspect of it, but i flirted, i kissed, i argued, i made up and then woke up all with the same person.. i laughed.. alot. danced.. alot. was sick.. alot. successful? i think so! so 8 shots of pure malibu, 8 shots of apple sours, 6 cherry sours shots, 3 cans of cider, 2 bacardi breezers and 4 malibu and cokes later, here i am, feeling as sick as a dog and feeling like i could sleep forever. goodtimes!

------

hope you're all okay btw! :)
lots of love
xxxxx

listen to: Olly Murrs- thinking about me. 

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

things are on the up!

November 18, 2010

Look at that face-- the face of a young, carefree, SINGLE. happy girl? yes, yes it is! 
Helloooo, i'm sick of wasting my time moping about, treading around on eggshells, constantly missing him. it hurts! yeh, its gonna hurt for a while, but for now, i'm getting rid of it- starting a fresh!
i saw him yesterday-- (the ex-boyfriend). We went to town, and it wasn't as bad as I thought that it would be.. There were times when I just wanted to grab his hand and never let go, kiss him and show him that there's still something there, but what's the point in making things worse? It'll be me that ends in tears as usual!

anyway! i haven't really upated much recently again-- i've been pretty busy, but I have a lot to update about tbf.

So first- Center Parcs.<3
wow. it was absolutely amazing. I never imagined it to be so good! I had so much fun!
The weekend practically consisted of swimming, walking, drinking and eating-- you can't go wrong with that combination really, can you? The Sunday night was absolutely amazing -- there was the best firework display that I have ever seen. It was synchronised to the christmas music, and the whole atmosphere was ever so Christmassy. i can truly say that i loved it! -we had a party everynight, til very early hours, had lye-ins, and in all honesty, it really chilled me out & brought me back to reality.
My best friend.<3

Then there's college-- I'm starting to enjoy it a lot more now, thank god. The early mornings are slowly killing me, but generally, i'm feeling a lot more positive about it! plus, it's almost the Christmas holidays, so you can't really complain!

So yeah, i'm feeling a lot better in myself recently. Sure, I wish that me and matt could be back together, but in all honesty-- it's so much fun being single! it's as if I have 'single' written upon my head- i've had quite a bit of attention! always a good thing!


anyway- i'll post a new post soon about the rest!
peaceout my lovelys. xxxx


Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

sadness, sickness & Centre Parcs!

November 10, 2010

Hello lovely ladies & gentsss. i know it's been a while, but honestly- i have been a little pre-occupied with life. :( so if you know me personally, you'll know that i've gone through some pretty big changes throughout the last two weeks:
me & my boyfriend broke up. :( long story short- i'm heartbroken, and he doesn't even care. thinking that it's time to call everything a day now. short of all the begging, (yes, begging), i've done to get him back, the pleading, the changing, the crying, the anger, the hurt, i'm thinking now is a good time to give up & move on. trust me, if you've never experienced this (which luckily all three of my bestfriends have), then i know how easy it sounds. I was so uncaring when my friends went through it-- i didn't realise how hard it was, nor did i realise how much one person could change every little aspect of another person's life. I lacked in support and care for especially one of my friends, and i now regret it cos she's been there for me like a rock, so thankyou. anyway, anyone who has been through the process of being in a long-term relationship, and being 'dumped'- your bestfriend, boyfriend, your world, going from being your everything to nothing, then i guess you'll know how i'm feeling. i'm down, i'm unhappy and i generally feel like i can't do anything right.. sucks to be me, right??

from all this, my only points of advise are;

-don't beg, plead, try the guilt trip, or the sympathy vote for that matter, cos they don't work. they make matters worse, in fact. i made him go from my bestfriend, to friend, to enemy, and back to friend. it's a kind of pinball game in the last week, pinging between the 'enemy' prong and the 'friend' prong.

-get rid of their things.. nicely! okay, so i made the mistake of being a complete bitch about it. in my defence, i gave him almost two weeks to collect his things, he got people involved (recieving hurtful & pretty much evil messages from his twin definitely topped it off), he rejected my calls and when he did answer he was completely rude 'telling me to f#ck off, & hanging up numerous times), so i cut up his t-shirt and made a beautiful cardigan out of it.-- then i felt awful, so i'm now in the process of returning his things via our college swapping system... just get rid of their things. seeing their stuff only makes you feel worse about the whole thing and definitely doesn't help you to move on.

-find another gorgeous, sometimes totally unrealistic, crush to focus on! i mean, every girl would love to date someone like Zac Efron, right? for me, Olly Murrs has got me through this-- i mean, c'mon- did you see the naked shoot he did for Heat magazine!? yum!

-find other things to take your mind off them too.. go out with the ladies! cinema, meals, sleepovers, duvet days- your girlfriends will always find a way to cheer you up, and failing that, they'll let you cry on their shoulders! Get a job, or take on more hours at your current one! occupying your mind is gonna stop you from thinking about the ex, and it's a great way to get you back out there and meet other people! take up a new hobby. painting, dancing, martial-arts, yoga, sports, even shopping! window shopping has been proved to boost happiness by releasing mood-lifting endorphins, boosting your immune system, keeping your brain nimble, and even fulfilling basic social needs! if there ever was a reason to go shopping, it's that!

-and finally, keep that head held high. trust me, i know how hard this one is. don't let them see that you're hurting. put on that slick of lippy, chuck on that extra coat of mascara, get a push up bra! anything to make you look flawlessly hot, catch his attention, smile, and show him what he's missing! a bit bitter? i know, but how else would you make him feel sorry for losing you?! :)

so yeah. don't let him pull you down-- you're most probably better off without him. I mean, if someone who loves you so much can just leave you standing alone, with nothing left but the mere memories of a perfect relationship, then would you really want him back when he could do it again at any other given time?

anyway, i just thought that i'd mention that i'm going to Centerparcs on Friday-- yippeeeee! <3

that's all for now. i promise to write back soon & tell you how CP was!
xoxo

p.s i've lost like, half a stone since i split with my ex. that's gotta be a positive, right?!

listen to:
Mike Posner- Cooler Than Me
The Saturdays- Higher
Cheryl Cole- Promise This
Cee Lo Green- F#ck you
The Script- Nothing     --this is sooo the male view of what i'm going through!

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

new blog, new me?

October 21, 2010

So as you can see, i've recently re-vamped my blog! With a little help from my beautiful boyfriend, i think it looks a lot more fresh and bright, and, well, feminine! It was looking a little out-dated, and i figured that it needed a little more 'modernising'. Is that even a real word? I seem to do that a lot- just make up words that sound pretty real & use them.. out loud.. usually in front of tremendously intellegent people, who seem to have swallowed a dictionary & continue to barf up words such as 'languish' etc.
"Jessica Starbuck" was getting a little boring too, so i figured i'd give it a nickname. I say nickname, but it doesnt actually hold any features that a 'nickname' is supposed to: it isnt exactly original is it? C'mon- how many more girls' blogs have the exact same name? Plus, it isnt exactly 'short and snappy' -- have you seen the address bar?! tehe.
Anyway- comments on the new theme/name etc would be appreciated. hopefully i will have enabled comments on each post, so give it a go- i think that you click the title of the post that you'd like to comment on, and then scroll to the bottom. i think.. :') if not, then just click me on facebook.
Well- I've been at Bilborough College for one year & almost half a term and i have my first trip tomorrow... to Waterstones in Nottingham.. big whoop! What's so special about an over-priced, silent book shop? I've heard there's a Costa in there though.. so maybe i'll spend my afternoon in there, hiding from the teacher. :)

I went to see John Barrowman a couple of nights ago. I know what you're thinking- "John Barrowman?! Who the heck is he?!" --

ok, yes- you know who I mean. 'that queer one from Dr. Who' yes, that's the one.
oh. my. god. It was like watching a stand-up commedian! No kidding, he was hilarious. and so rude! hahaha. Oh, and I met his mother & father. they're so cute :') bless them. 75. I wonder what i'll be doing at that age. I want to be happily married and cute, hopping on buses with my free bus pass. woo.
I got placed next to the loveliest old lady. No sarcasm included. She was adorable. Straight away, she said 'Hello Dear', but throughout the entire 4 hours of JB's show, whenever he spoke, she answered him- as if they were having a conversation. it was adorable-- (little bit annoying after that fourth hour of hearing ''yes, john, i agree' and 'yes, thats so lovely' )- no, all in all, i can't complain. she was lovely. the whole night was lovely. Oh, and if youre wondering why i was there in the first place-- my mother loves him, so that was her Mother's day present this year. :)

anyway- i must go to sleep now & attempt to control my excitement for my trip tomorrow.. NAAAHT!

Lots of loveeee.
xoxo.

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

writers block?

October 14, 2010

Good evening ladies, gents & all other funny critters!
wow, i've really been neglecting this blog recently! I mean, how long has it been since i last wrote a majorly long post, boring you all with the adventures of my meaningless, consumer-driven life? A while, that's for sure! I've just been sooo stressed with college, and ucas, and personal life etc. it's hard being an A-level student & trying to keep your life of track!
so- updates:
College:
Sociology has been dropped. finally. hated it! I am now a student of "science and society"-- sounds the same? I know, right! It's a bit like GCSE Science-- i feel like i'm back at school. yesterday, we got to do an experiment! 'the crushed can' experiment, to be precise. I'm not gonna, lie.. i loved it! :) and Psychology is going good as well tbh- hopefully get a B overall now I only have that and English to concentrate on! -as for English: sooo. much. work. :| like, 2/3 essays a week. it's killing me! A two-page essay on feral children & their lack of language aquisition? no thanks, Heide. ;)
gotta say, im pretty lucky with my timetable this year-- I get so many frees throughout the week-- & all of Wednesdays off. woo! Can you believe that it's the half-term holidays at the end of this week already? My life is practically flashing before my eyes! Which brings me to my next topic:
The Future:
Let's be honest-- this isn't set in stone, but here's what I'm thinking: Finish college this year, hopefully with 2 B's in Eng & Psych, D in Soc AS, and then passes in General Studies & Science in Society (AS). Then possibly going to college again next year, doing a further 2 A-Levels, gaining UCAS points, & then I'll pop off to Uni afterwards! ;) sounds good? I think so anyway!
Our Matthew:
three little words:
youre a twat. haha, i joke, i joke. i love you.<3
Social life.. more importantly- KFC!:
I have a genunine constant craving for chicken strips! I could eat my own body weight in them right now. yum. I've spent the last couple of weeks thinking about the people that i intend on keeping in my life. This week, I met up with my three best friends on seperate occassions. Sometimes, though, it seems like the initial spark that brought us together just isn't there anymore.. :(
My hair:
I'm sick of my hair! I want it light brown, and i want it light brown NOW. it's so bloody annoying! I look around, and everyone's seems to look nice except from mine! :'( so unfair! it's so unruly!

-anyway, I'm gonna nip & do my homework. booo. Write soon!
xoxo.

ps. listen to:
Cee Lo Green- Forget you.
The Saturdays- Higher.

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

employment & Michael Buble..

September 29, 2010


Well hey there..
I got rang back for tesco! They offered me to go in for a job trial 2 nights ago-- i loved it. beep.. beep.. beep.. Checkouts are great! So now i have to sit & wait for the phonecall to let me know whether i have got a job or not. really, i hope i get it. :(
oh. my. god. Lastnight was amazing. I went to see Michael Buble!

really, hubba hubba. He was totally amazing. <3
Words simply cannot describe how good he was. His audience interraction was fantastic- not only did he melt our hearts (cheesy, i know) with his beautiful voice, but he was just so goddamn funny!
and i touched him. I touched the 'bubes'.. a little wrong-sounding, but you get me. aah.

i shall go to bed a happy lady tonight with the thoughts of mickey bubbles in my mind. yum.
write soon! xxx

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

when the going gets tough, get over it!

September 22, 2010


Good morning, good day & good evening to those who are reading!
wow. I think I must've had the craziest week of my life this week. How the heck I have squeezed 'full-time' education, two job interviews, a theory test, a dentist appointment, & a doctors appointment, as well as completing homework & 'extra studies' is a complete mystery to me. At some points it's as if time has frozen, & just let me do everything in the space of one small hour, & then jump off to another little thing that i've had to partake in.
Oh, and by the way- tesco have took me on too-- meaning that i'm officially a greedy beeyatch with two jobs. I need help on deciding which one to take! The interview was really horrible-- they were all young, and bitching about eachother-- AND ME. the bastards! :')
anyway- i'll write back soon as one JAMES PACK is making me update! :(
Goodbye for now. <3

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 

♥.

September 20, 2010

I am well & trully knackered.
Being back at college has worn me out already- three days & already, the work is piling up high. :'(
-let's just say, Year 13 isn't living up to any of my expectations. College is completely packed solid, & it's such hard work to even arrive to my lessons, what with being squashed into what seems like a pack of sardines on the journey to & from college. Yawn. & as for my actual lessons-- i hate Sociology. My class are horrible! chavs, chavs, bitches, hoes and f#cking chavs! :( Psychology is the only one that i'm actually remotely enjoying. great.

On a much lighter note- I think i'm actually stull hungover from this weekend...

Caroline's 18th.
Gotta hand it to the girl- she invited the right people. There was only one person that didn't come dressed up- but everyone looks absolutely fabulous. The adults actually looked better than the 'kids'. Kids? I don't really know what to call us, cos we aren't exactly kids, but we sure as hell arent adults yet, are we? Teens? But then we still sound like kids. This is a topic that can be returned to as I'm far too tired & would really like to sleep this headache off. Kids don't do that.. :')

oh. oh.
& i AM NO LONGER UNEMPLOYED.
Hello Asda worker ;)

anyway: THEORY TEST TOMORROW.
--there's not much chance of me passing, so i'm not gonna get my hopes up.
xoxo.

Posted by Jessica Starbuck.

 
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