If you wanna know, here it goes
gotta tell you, there's a part of me that shows
if we're close i'm gonna let you see everything,
but remember that you asked for it,
i try to do my best to impress
but it's easier to let you take a guess,
sit the rest, but you wanna hear what lives in my brain,
& my heart, well you asked for it,
for your perusing, at times confusing,
slightly amusing, introducing me.
du du, du du du du du, du, du du, du du du du du,
la da da daa.

wayhey- almost time to start college.
thank. god. for. that.
I am so bored. Genuinely, there is nothing to do.
Schools & sixth forms have started, meaning that not only are two of my bestfriends back at school, but i dont even have my sister to annoy me. It's just me & the dog. and the gecko. and the budgie. and the guinipig. and the Jeremy Kyle Show. wow.
I have no money either, so I can't even go to town & have a walk about etc. Boooo. Someone please get me a job! Not only will that take up some time, but i'll actually have money to spend. wheey.

So yesterday, I spent the day doing my younger sister's coursework, (that was meant to be in almost a year ago). She's such a nightmare at English. Who in their right mind waits until the last two days, after having six weeks, to do SIX essays?! Silly girl. Shakespeare doesn't half confuse me. I remember writing my Romeo & Juliet three years ago, getting a D and just giving up. I don't see why it's so important to the English Language for us to pick at famous pieces of literature.

-someone just let me get back into a routine. i feel so shitty. :(
l o vees!
xx-o

maxi dresses.
i love them.

yes, this week, i've found a love for the in-style 'maxi dresses'.
I first saw them in all of the magazines that i read e.g Look, Heat and More, & thought that it was another fashion fad that only celebs were following, & by the looks of them, i thought that they'd be pretty expensive. truth is, i wasnt interested in this fad, and quickly turned the page to get rid of the hidiousity that i was faced with.
After booking next year's holiday for my 18th with my family, we took a trip to meadowhall, the best place on earth of course, & was given £40 to purchase some things that I could take with me.. in 5 months..
i spent my money wisely:
1 pair of jeans: £8!
1 blouse:          £2.
1 cardigan:       £9
1 belt:               £1
1 dress:             £10
i claimed that the jeans, blouse cardigan and belt could be travelled in, & the dress is good for night times..
I spotted my sister & mum trying on a few maxi dresses. they looked nice, & then i saw the sale and they seemed even nicer knowing that they were on sale from £30 to £5. ofcourse i had to have one.
so yes. i love it. it looks so good on!
i have a thing for almost see-through blouses too. :')

SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME SOME MONEY!
:'(
no, the job hunting isn't going too well. noone seems to want me! boo.

wellwellwell.
how fast have these holidays gone? Seems only a few days ago that i was so excited to break up for the summer. summer eh? i think that we've had about 4 whole days of sunshine without the rain spoiling it. & i've barely seen anyone. it sucks to be me right now.. i honestly cannot wait to get back to college, see my new timetable, make a few new friends hopefully, and just generally get back into a routine. im getting sick of sitting around in my pyjamas, watching the hills for hours on end. I sorted out my college things yesterday-- i have a new bag:

a bit chavvy, yes, but quite frankly- i dont care. It fits all of my books/folders in, with a pencil case, makeup bag, lunchbox & deodrant etc, & this year, i mean business. i've already started to revise my psychology from the past six weeks. sad? yet again, i dont care :')

anyway.
Alex Pettyfer calls.
marry me?
--x--

listen to: kesha- take it off.
Awesome song.

you think i'm pretty without any makeup on
you think i'm funny when i tell the punchline wrong
i know you get me so i let my walls come down, down.
before you met me i was alright but things were kinda heavy
you brought me to life now every february
you'll be my valentine, valentine.

let's go all the way tonight
no regrets, just love.
we can dance until we die
you and i
will be young forever..

wheey. i got back into bilborough!
C- psychology
C- English Language
D- Sociology
not the best results ever, but theyre good enough to get me back in!
it's not gonna be the same though. There's a hell of alot of people who didn't get back in, some of which are pretty good friends of mine, & then there're the people who just chose not to return. And just like last year, i'm gonna be pretty much alone in my classes, forced to make friends with someone who's gonna assist me in enduring the numerous hours of what seems like endless torture. 

funny how exactly a year ago i was getting my gcse results. 
how careless i was. how happy at how well i had done.
things were so simple!
this time last year, i hadn't even met the person who now means so much to me.
i want my boyfriend back! :(

you make me feel like i'm living a teenage dream
the way you turn me on i cant sleep
let's run away and dont ever look back, dont ever look back.
my. heart. stops. when you look at me
just. one. touch. now baby i believe
this is real
so take a chance and dont ever look back, dont ever look back.

we drove to Calais, and got drunk on the beach
got a motel and built a fort out of sheets
i finally found you, my missing puzzle piece
im complete.

imma get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans be your teenage dream tonight
let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans be your teenage dream tonight.

MATTHEW SMITH- I love you. <3

ohmygoddd. I'm so alone!
Why is it that not only has my wonderful boyfriend left me for welsh mountains & shizz, but almost every single one of my bestfriends are also off somewhere this week too, leaving me completely on my own?
& to top it off, my phone has decided that it doesn't want to allow me to text them, as it's currently having a massive mardy.
my. life. sucks.

heyho. I miss my long hair. :(

LOOK HOW LONG IT WAS! :(
tomorrow, i've decided that it's going to be dyed red. I'm not so sure that this is the best idea-- but i need a change tbh.

--BYE!
xxx

Listen to:
Katy Perry- Teenage Dreams.

Okay, so gay picture, i know- but i presumed that i should meantion my new hair cut. So there it is..
I cut it for a whole different kind of reasons-
my world has been shaken up, tipped upside down, left and right this last couple of weeks- and now i think it's finally back center, or at least i'm hoping.

The reason for the title in this post is just that it was the only main thing that's on my mind today:
as ive said- this week inparticularly has been craaazy. I won't meantion what exactly, cos no matter which way i put it, it'll be wrong and just cause conflict.
But i've been upset, annoyed, ignored, hysterical and depressed-- all at the same time. wow- how's that for multi-tasking? But in all seriousness, i've made some mistakes that have really made me realise just how lucky I am to have a certain Mr. in my life right now, and how much i love him to bits and couldnt bear to loose him. <3 youuu know who you are :)

so- i just wanted to say that there are a hell of a lot of mother-fucking immature people out there.. so you want to cause sh#t and arguments, or you want to ignore me, or you want to, hypothetically speaking, 'like' comments on facebook out of pure sarcasm, or even comment pathetic things on facebook- please, just get over yourself. Just leave me out of this one, cos im sick of it.
i'm living my life my own way now, i look out for myself, my boyfriend, my family and my very close friends, but its not my responsibility to look out for others, being wary of my own actions just to please others. Im sorry, but thats just not how im gonna live my life anymore.
so yer, I will ignore your sarcastic remarks, and overlook your ignorance and rudeness, and even those sly scowls that you love so much- And who's winning now bitches? who's the bigger person now?
i dont care- all  i need are my nearest and dearest.
& MATTHEW SMITH- i apologise for everything. forever and always baby.

anyway-- enough now. i think ive ranted enough.
Happy summer holidays!
xxxxx

Why am i so bored? Why does this world have nothing good to offer for me at this precise moment in time?
Honestly, im sure that i spend more time away from college than i do actually in college furthering my education? Usually, i wouldn't complain- but recently i've noticed that my life is a bore.
w/c 28/06/2010: another week off for Bilborough College. yeh, thanks! Did we not have a whole month off only 2 weeks ago? deargod. The problem is, my two bestfriends are at college/school & boyfriend is in Wales- who the hell am i meant to see?

:(
I've now decided that i am not playing games with certain people anymore. As the beautiful Chelsea Walker once said: 'Being a bitch is far too much like hard work..' -from now on, i no longer can be bothered to be a bitch with certain people. Take me as i am? ;D
So, last wednesday, i went to Alton Towers with the lovely Hayleigh, Megan and Katy <3 the weather was definitely on our side- it was beautiful! Went on almost all the 'big' rides- all except Th13teen i believe. Stupid ride decided to break down when we had queued for almost half an hour. oh happy days -.- ohwell. It was a great day. £8 return on the bus- it isn't bad tbh really is it? Eventhough on the way there, we had to stand at the front with the crazily friendly driver :') oh, such a lovely day.
Can't say i've really done that much more tbh- seen Matthew a little, spend some time tanning -- you couldnt tell though, im as white as a ghost.
Tonight is Top Valley Dance Show- so me, grace and caroline are gonna pop on down to have a butchers.. then tomorrow i'm stopping at a friend's from college, friday i'm gonna spend with maisie, and then saturday is bbqqqqq @ Chelsea's. Im quite looking forward to the next few days -will be a good chance to get out of the house tbh. :')

anyway- i'm still pretty besotted with Katy Perry's new song- defs the song of Summer 2010 fo'sure.
Loves. xxox.

Listen to: B.O.B Ft Hayley Williams- Airplanes. you'll love it!

Oh dear. i cant say it's been an overall good week tbh.
We finally went back to college this week. On arrival, we all expected a brand new timetable, fresh start. Sit down- BOOM! Same timetable. Instant sadness.. bearing in mind that this is a tuesday, this means that not only have i gotten up and came in early, anticipating the new timetable, but i now have to sit around for 2 hours until my first lesson.. Oh the joys. In the afternoon, Me, Matt, Rachel and Joe decided to jump on the link bus to Notts for a quick mcdonalds. yum! ;] cant beat a good mcdonalds to pick you up, lets be honest! okay, so then I decided on going back to matt's for the night (after a bit of convincing on his part- as his twin's girlfriend was round too..) great.
Que Matt, Dan and his dad to sing karaoke infront  me. Little embarassing? Yes- definitely!!
okay, im gonna pop off, Corronation Street's on!
loves' xox.

Listen to Katy Perry ft Snoop Dog- California Gurls. Definite song of the summer!

`

Stress. Everything = stress.
You know when you have those days when nothing goes right? Well I'm having a whole months worth of them it seems.

:(
Two days ago, we broke up for study leave. Study leave! already! It's crazy how fast my life's going. You know sometimes and you just wish for everything to slow down? I know that I certainly do. So, for the next month, I'm pretty much housebound in order to cram as much revision in as possible.
Byebye Matty! ;)
Whoever made up exams were seriously crazy in the head. Infact, whoever suggested that psychology and sociology were compatible together without them both getting wrapped around your head were even crazier. Oh- and who decided to make up hundreds of different terms just to describe the English Language? Why is it necessary to know why gender is important in technology? Truth is- its not!
Then there's college:
GOD, i am so happy to have the next month off and not even have to put up with some bitch. :|
3 letters: c. b and a.

Urgh- i just have so much going on at the minute.
Life's crazy, it sure is!
hohumpigsbum- i think i'll leave it here for this post.
xxox.

Mattheeew- i love you.